Grace in Communication
Speaker 1: And this would be the.
Unidentified: And he was like. Not only that, I love the cause of his we. Gwen. Uh. Uh.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: All right, good evening, welcome to the Baptist Tabernacle, it's good to have you all here with us tonight. Let's all stand. We're going to sing page number three hundred and forty nine,
Speaker 3: glory to his name, singing out nice and loud right here on the first song. Let's lift our voices up to the Lord here tonight. Ready? Down at the cross
Speaker 1: where my savior died, down with cleansing from saying, I cried
Unidentified: there, too, my heart was the blood, my.
Speaker 1: Laurita to his. Fame, glory to his name, dear to my heart, was a blood supply for me to his name. I am so wondrously safe from sin, Jesus, so sweet. Be applied with an. 032 to his name. Glory to his name, glory
Unidentified: to his name, there to my heart was the blood of mine.
Speaker 1: Glory to his name.
Speaker 3: Oh, precious fountain that's saved from sin.
Speaker 1: I am so glad I haven't heard in there. Jesus saves me and keeps me clean. Glory to his name. Glory to his name. Dear to my heart was the blood line glory to his name.
Speaker 2: And good singing tonight, let's go to Lord and what a prayer. Ask his blessing on our time together. Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day. Thank you for the folks that are here tonight. Lord, I pray that you bless each and every one of them for making the effort to be here this evening. Lord, after a long day at work and kids at school, I pray that tonight would be an encouragement and a challenge to them. They would be refreshed and recharged for having taken this time out of their week to be with, you know, asked to be with the rest of the service. May bring honor and glory to your name, for it's in your name we pray. Amen. All right. Thank you. May be seated. A couple of announcements for you as we get going here.
Speaker 1: This is.
Unidentified: Not the one.
Speaker 2: We'll go off the bulletin, did you receive a bulletin? Uh, if not, they are out in the main area. I'm going to start giving extra points to the people who get their bulletin before the service starts first.
Speaker 3: OK, this this Saturday at 10:00 a.m.,
Speaker 2: we do have a wedding shower for Bobo and bore Boren and Lo, no Bo and Lauren, and that'll be at 10:00 o'clock here in the Fellowship Hall. And so we'd like to invite all of our ladies to come out and celebrate this special time with Lauren as they get ready for their wedding here in a few months. They're registered at Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond and at least one person ask. But just in case you're not aware, Bo's last name is Gilbert and Lauren's last name is falling. And so if you're having a hard time with the with the registry, a lot of new folks here at the church. And so those are the last names that you're looking for. If you're having trouble, typically, if one person is asking, others are wondering as well. And so hopefully that helps you may. Twenty third, that's this Sunday. We are going to be having our graduation Sunday, graduation and promotion Sunday. And so I think we've got one high school senior that is graduating. And so we'll honor him Sunday morning during the service and then for promotion Sunday. The way this works is all of the kids need to go to their normal classrooms, all the kids go their normal classrooms. And then our Sunday school teachers will promote the ones that are transitioning from kindergarten to first grade, the ones who are transitioning from third grade to fourth grade, and then the ones who are transitioning from sixth grade to the youth department. And so the Sunday school teachers will take care of that. You just make sure your kid gets to the same classroom as always, and then we will move them up from there. We do have a special gift for all of the children that are promoting all the just all of our children that are here for Sunday school. This Sunday will get a very special gift. And parents, you're going to want to be on the lookout for this gift because it's really supposed to get to you. It's a stress ball and we know summer's coming. So you're going to be going back to the kids being in the house for some of you. And so you can just snatch that ball right up and keep it for yourself. But anyways, we'll be giving them a little gift there in Sunday school this Sunday. We also have a nursery worker meeting after the morning service this Sunday. And that's for anyone that is currently a member of our nursery worker team or anyone that would like to become a part of our nursery worker team. And so if you wouldn't mind meeting with us for just a few moments after the morning service this Sunday and also the Sunday in the evening service are energized. Kids are going to be singing in the Park Service and we're looking forward to hearing from them. Some of you might have seen them practicing up here, and they sounded really good working on a couple of songs. And so you'll want to come back Sunday night to be blessed by that May. Twenty eighth is retreads. That's our senior adult ministry. They get together on the last Friday of every month for a time of board games and then a potluck lunch. And so that'll be from ten o'clock to one o'clock May twenty eighth, which is next Friday and this coming Friday, but the next Friday and then vacation Bible school will be here before you know it, June 7th through the 11th. That is going to be from 9:00 to noon. And you can register online the church website or you can go on to our Facebook page. Yeah, uh. That's not spelled right, so it's not Sebti, Chechu Chiku Dotcom is just Sebti Church Dotcom, but anyway, there are fliers located at the welcome center for you to use not only for your own reminder, but to invite others. And we're looking forward to having a big VBS this year. And so I hope that you'll get the word out and help us let others know about vacation, Bible school. And thank you to all those of you who have helped by donating prizes and toys and different items to be used in the VBS store. If you're still meaning to bring some of those, you can leave those at the church office and we'll be very grateful for them. And then finally, last announcement that I have, our churching anniversary is coming up in a month. And so June 13th will be our sixty sixth anniversary of doing ministry here for the Lord in the Collinsville area. And so we want to celebrate on that day and we'll have more information as we get closer to that. We've we're good. OK, so one of the things Brother Arnie was our missions director here for several years, and when he wrapped up his term came up, we kind of dropped the ball for a little bit on the missionary letters. But our men, we've gotten our act together. And so we'll resume our our former practice of reading the missionary updates here on Wednesday night. And tonight, the Michael Taylor is going to come and give us an update from the Jacob family.
Speaker 4: This friend of Jacob family in Pakistan says we have arrived in the U.S. on March 10th to twenty twenty one. All our family members were required to have a covid-19 negative result to enter the state's. We thank the Lord for everything coming back so smooth. Our home church had body Ford Transit van for us and to go to our travels and meetings. And has. Renovated our whole home here in Oklahoma. Where we are staying on furlough. We are very. Grateful to. To God for their help. Shortly before returning. To the states, our daughter, Bella. Was diagnosed with SVT. We are not trying or we are now trying to get insurance for her and. Have a meeting with a. Uh, the doctor for the SBT is. Please pray that God will give the doctor's wisdom and. Who to how to deal with this condition. Since returning to the states, God has, God has been so good to us. Our oldest son, Elijah, except crisis his savior. Uh, we have. We have had we have been in several churches and have rejoiced. On time fellowship with. They have been such a blessing to us. And it goes on about a couple of their churches that they have, and one of them is the Kogure Baptist Church, it says the Coquille Baptist Church has been having an attendance of about seventy five people. Last month, they had their first baptism. Service with 13 believers being baptized. Uh. One young girl passed out during the service last week due to the summer heat and. Overcrowding in a small place and no ventilation. They are praying and looking to buy a building that is bigger than the one they are renting now. Please pray with them for this need. Dear Heavenly Father, we come to you tonight for the sake of family or be with them for their travels and watch over them, watch over their daughter and give the doctors the wisdom that they need to get her condition to control. Lord, we thank you for all the blessings that you've put on them all the same people that I've been through. Lord, be with them on their travels and bless their ministry. Lord Jesus.
Speaker 2: I thank you for that, for the Michael and the Jacobs family will be with us in a few weeks, so we'll get to hear an update from them in person and looking forward to getting to know them. Let's all stand once again. We're going to see a couple more songs. Page number four hundred and twenty, day by
Speaker 3: day, page 420, day by
Speaker 2: day. We'll sing the first, second and the third.
Speaker 1: Day by day and with each passing moment strength, I find to meet my trials here, trusting in my father's wise wisdom, and I've no cause for worry or for fear and whose heart is tiny me.
Unidentified: I know my.
Speaker 1: Obviously, it's part of pain and pleasure mingling
Unidentified: talk with Sandra.
Speaker 1: Every day, the lord himself is near me with a special. All my cares, ethane with air and cheer me, he whose name is counselor and our.
Unidentified: Protection of his interests.
Speaker 1: That on himself, he lay as you attains your strength shall be. Is this the pledge to be? Help me. And in every tribulation, so to trust your promises. Lord.
Unidentified: Offered me. And your holy word, help me, Lord, when
Speaker 1: toil and trouble me, take care to take us from my father's hand one by one, the days a moment's fleeting till I reach the promised
Speaker 2: land. Amen, man. Last song we're seeing, it's not in your hymnal. We'll be up on the screen. We have come into his house. Sing the first in the second.
Speaker 1: We have coming to his house and gathered in his name to worship him. We have come to his house and gathered in his name to worship. We have coming to his house and gathered in his name to worship Christ. Worship him, Lord. So forget about yourself and concentrate on him and worship him. So forget about yourself and concentrate on
Unidentified: him and worship him.
Speaker 1: So forget about yourself and concentrate on his. And worship Christ, the Lord worship
Unidentified: him, Ron. So.
Speaker 2: Amen. Well, at this time, we're going to take up our ties in offerings, and I want to share a blessing with you. We voted, of course, Sunday night to approve funding for the purchase of a new van and already shared this with the with the trustees. But we got a call that next day of an anonymous gift that was coming in for ten thousand dollars to go towards the van. And so that's a great blessing and we're very excited for that. That'll definitely help with the hit that the cattle that purchase will go to the general fund. And so that'll offset a lot of that cost. We've already had a gift come in five thousand dollars for the van. And so that's it's all working out very well. And we're very grateful for your generosity, whoever's generosity it was that made this gift and for the faithfulness of God and providing for the needs of this ministry. And so hopefully Lord will continue to open their doors and he'll show us the right vehicle, uh, that we can make a move on here in the next few days and hopefully not weeks. But anyways, let's go to law and order prayer. Ask his blessing on the offering here tonight. I for the Paul helfenstein. If he doesn't mind a pray, ask God's blessing on the offering here. Hey, man, thank you, may be seated. And thank you for that. Alicia, you wouldn't mind taking your Bibles and turning to two different verses tonight. The first one is in Ephesians. Visions for twenty nine. And the second one is in Colossians, Colossians for six visions for twenty nine and Colossians for six. And as you find your place, if you wouldn't mind, you're physically able join me in standing in honor of reading God's word. Ephesians four twenty nine, and then in a moment, we'll read Colossians for six. Visions for twenty nine says. Let no corrupt communication
Speaker 3: proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may Minister Grace
Speaker 2: under the years. Now, if you don't mind turning it over to Colossians for six. Paul says in this passage,
Speaker 3: let your speech be all lay with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know
Speaker 2: how you ought to answer. Every man spend the first part of the message in Ephesians. Then we'll look at Colossians towards the end. Would you join me in prayer? Ask God's blessing on the message tonight. We asked you to be with us now as we look into your word, I pray that you give me the words you'd have me to say to folks that are here to listen, to hear their lives in Jesus name, I pray. Amen. I may be seated. All right, for 10, once you had that gray slide, that first slide there, and we'll hit these platform lights as you have opportunity.
Speaker 1: So we all are
Speaker 2: completely aware of the fact that our lives on this earth are short. Right. I was reading in Psalms, I think yesterday maybe was today I can't remember
Speaker 3: but one of those days and it was talking about how God gives attention to humanity, even though we're like a breeze that just kind of passes and
Speaker 2: is gone.
Speaker 3: We know other spots in the Bible talks about how our our life is as a hand
Speaker 2: breath, as we're like
Speaker 3: the flower that is there and then it's gone. Our life is as a vapor,
Speaker 2: the pure earth for a little time.
Speaker 3: But our lives are short. Our lives are very, very short. But throughout the course of our lives, God allows us to enjoy many relationships that come and go out of our life. We develop relationships, for example, with our parents, childhood friends. Just out of curiosity, how many of you still have a friend or multiple friends that you've been friends since you were
Speaker 2: in elementary school? Anybody OK? Oh, more than I thought. I don't know anybody I was in elementary school with, I was homeschooled, so that's not good. No, I guess I got my brothers
Speaker 3: anyways, childhood friends, teachers, classmates, coworkers, church members. There's lots of people, lots of relationships that we form. And sometimes they last for many years. Sometimes they're very brief. But we understand that the length of the relationship is not always an indicator as to the the impact that that relationship might have. Some of us have had very short relationships with some people, and yet that time was very impactful in our lives. Now, relationships, you understand, are dependent upon communication in order for their existence. This communication, of course, goes beyond the verbal communication that you may have immediately thought of when you hear that word communicate. Written communication sometimes enables a relationship to survive over a great distance physical communication, body language, facial expressions. These are all different forms of communication that are essential for a relationship to exist. Sometimes these communications are not in agreement. You ask your spouse, how was your day? And they say, fine. Fine can mean a lot of things, you rely on other methods of communication to determine and ascertain whether or not that meant fine or whether it meant fine. And so communication is vital
Speaker 2: to the success and survival of a relationship.
Speaker 3: Communication is so vital to a relationship that I think we would all agree that the cessation or the ceasing of communication pretty much signals the end of the relationship. The younger people, younger even than myself, they have a term for this. It's called ghosting, where there's just silence and communication is just cut off.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's a high school
Speaker 3: romantic situation and one person in the relationship just decides they're done. And so they they will ghost the other person and just stop returning their texts, their calls. They will not respond to them at all. Unhealthy communication also leads to unhealthy relationships. We know how to get our point across and sometimes not in the most healthy way. Isn't that right? OK, thank you, sir. I mean, some of you have children and teenagers at home. When your teenagers told something that they shouldn't do, they know how to let you know that they're not happy about it. It's an unhealthy form of communication. Leads to an unhealthy relationship. She's letting you know. As believers, we understand that Grace has affected
Speaker 2: every aspect of who we are in Christ,
Speaker 3: and so if we're going to take the grace that we have received and directed towards others, then it will require grace in our relationships, which in turn means that since our relationships are made up of communication, then we must allow grace to influence the way we communicate with one another. We're going to get two verses tonight that specifically address the matter of grace in communication. Now we're going to talk a little bit differently. Obviously, we're looking at two different verses from two different books. But I think you can tell from both verses that there's definitely application to be made about communication in our lives.
Speaker 2: And this issue of
Speaker 3: grace, I want to ask you a question real quick. How many of you like to eat fruit? All right, favorite fruits. Just start naming them. Strawberries. Apples, peaches, you said peaches. All right, peaches, peaches, blueberries are. Blackberries, we have BlackBerry,
Speaker 2: Bush growing up, that was fun.
Speaker 3: Anything else, huh? Cherrie's.
Speaker 2: Watermelon. Yes, you put salt on your watermelon. Yeah, do you salt your green apples? Yeah. What? My dad didn't. I have a couple of pieces of fruit here. I got a lime, wouldn't necessarily want to take a bite out of that,
Speaker 3: but limes are great. I like limes. We had shrimp tacos the other night at our last night.
Speaker 2: I'm all thrown off on this way.
Speaker 3: We had shrimp tacos last night at the house. And guess what? I squeezed on my shrimp tacos, some lime. I love lime. You know, you can squeeze some lime on your
Speaker 2: guacamole and supposedly it won't go brown. I know that, but that's what they say,
Speaker 3: this is a very nice looking line, can you see it? It's so I mean, it's just like a nice dark green. There's no pits on it. It's just it's like picturesque. You got your phone. Did you want to take a picture of my life? Oh, you're right. OK, sorry. And I've got an apple here, I don't know what kind of apple
Speaker 2: this is, I know there's like hundreds of kinds of apples,
Speaker 3: but it's nice and firm. It's not as cold as it was when I pulled it out of the refrigerator. But I like this apple. It's a nice apple. I mean, I'd take a bite out of this apple. I think I will. Mm. It's not the sweetest apple I've ever had, but it's pretty good. It's still fresh. Good, Colerain, very nice. I should take a smaller bite. Oh, yeah. Lisa wasn't coffee this time, right? OK, so we like fruit. Tim, go ahead and go the next slide. What about rotten fruit? You like rotten fruit, anybody? Have you ever reached into your fruit drawer and refrigerator or in the pantry, picked up a slimy, squishy. Pete. Are you trying to make this happen to me? One time I reached in to grab an apple and I put
Speaker 2: my fingers underneath it to lift it up out of the drawer, and my finger just went straight through the skin into the middle of the apple. A very sensitive gag reflex, and it was put to the test that day.
Speaker 3: I mean, nobody looks at that. It's kind of dark look better on my computer, that pair, that lemon, I think it's a peach with mold on it and says, mmm, yummy. Give me a bite of that. Some of you might
Speaker 2: be just weird enough to go on to Google and say,
Speaker 3: how bad does it have to get before I have to throw it out? Couldn't I just cut off the bad piece and eat the rest? Yes, you can, as I found out today, you
Speaker 2: can do that and the worst is going to happen as you might get a little indigestion, but it'll pass hopefully rare cases, a dozen.
Speaker 3: But when you see that rotten fruit, you understand that that fruit is corrupt, it's been corrupted. And so as we go on to our first main point, one key to exhibiting grace in communication is to guard against corruption. We saw that in Effusions four twenty nine where Paul says he says to the church at Ephesus, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. Corruption is a descriptive word that applies imagery that we would normally associate with physical items to the things that we say. We can see that this physical apple is lacking corruption based on what we're looking at. But if this apple were to go bad, if it were to be rotten, then we would say this Apple has been corrupted. And maybe you talk about a
Speaker 2: politician or something like that and
Speaker 3: say, oh, well, they're corrupt. Or you would look at the underbelly of my Volkswagen and you would see it eating up with rust and you would say the metal has been corrupted. Well, especially with fruit or my dear little VW, we understand that fruit and VW bugs don't start off corrupted. Those things happen over time. So this word corrupt has the idea of something that has become worthless or rotten. It is therefore no more beneficial. The battery tree in my car is no longer beneficial because it has been corrupted by rust. If you were to put the battery in that spot, you know what would happen? It would go straight to the floor. It's not doing its job anymore. If this Apple were to be corrupted by mold, it would be worthless. You'd pick it up and you say, you gross, nasty, and you would throw it away. Is that what the person who picked this Apple thought would happen to this apple when they picked it? No. Is that what the store intended to happen to this apple when they sold it to, you know, they gave it to you for a purpose. It was supposed to be eaten and enjoyed and provide great nutrition to your life. An apple a day keeps the.
Speaker 2: Now, Dr. Awing. Celery stick a day keeps everybody else away, so. Just in case you were wondering.
Speaker 3: The Greek adjective that is typically used to describe fruit that has gone bad is the same word that Paul uses here in verse over twenty nine to describe the communication that we as Christians are to avoid. Fruit doesn't start off rotten. It goes rotten for a variety of reasons. Most fruit, once it goes bad, is worthless. When you pick up a peach that squishy, slimy and covered in mold, you're probably not going to eat it, you're going to throw it away. It is not good
Speaker 2: for anything anymore. It is rotten
Speaker 3: and it is worthless. Now, it's possible for this imagery to exist in the conversations that you and I have. The second point that I'd
Speaker 2: like to point out to you
Speaker 3: here is, could it be that corrupt communist or corrupt conversation is like a fruit that starts off fine, but then becomes rotten? Is it possible that that is a true statement? That there are conversations that we get into interactions, the people we have relationships with, that we engage in that on the outset, they there's nothing really wrong with what's happening. But as the conversation progresses, it gets more and more rotten until it's at the point of it is a corrupt conversation. I think that's very true. How many of you can think back to your teenage years and think of different times where you got in trouble and the first few moments that you were with certain people, there really wasn't anything bad going on. But as the night went on or as the occasion progressed, things got worse and worse and worse until the point where you're like, oh, man, we're in big trouble now. We've gone too far. We're where we shouldn't be. Well, I think the same is true with conversations. I want to I want you to think of a couple of examples here that I just made these I just pulled these names out of out of nowhere. But just just imagine these people I want you think of two guys, two men. They're each married, they've got families. Their families actually go to church together
Speaker 2: and they work at the same business.
Speaker 3: We'll say it's
Speaker 2: George and Paul, George and Paul. They're their buddies. You know, they see each other. Church.
Speaker 3: Hey, George. Hey, Paul. They go to work the next day. It's like, hey, George. Hey, Paul. And they're like some of the same things. And so they get to work on Monday morning and they they're talking a little bit about stuff that happened at church. And and there was a football game on that night, Sunday Night Football. And so George says, well, hey, did you did you catch the game last night when you got home? Did you DVR it so you could watch the first quarter, just pick up where it started, where it was when you got home and Paul's. I just picked it up where it was when I got home. OK, well, that's not what you think about it. I it was great. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, did you see that new commercial for that show? That movie's coming out. Oh you mean you mean the one with the guy that does the thing. Yeah. Yeah, it's the one the guy that does the thing. Yeah I saw it. Well yeah. I was glad my wife wasn't in the room because I tell you what, one actress it's in that show who she is good looking. I know guys don't really talk like that,
Speaker 2: but just pretend, OK? Oh, yeah, I mean, yes, she's she's pretty good looking. Start talking about the women that they think are pretty. Very soon, the conversation has gone from something that's very innocent. So something that I would say is now corrupt. I mean, ladies, wouldn't you agree your husband really has no business talking to his coworkers about the actresses or celebrities that he thinks are good looking? OK, guys, I don't know, maybe they don't agree. And playing this all wrong, I don't understand. Thank you. You don't have to worry about his coworkers. All right, so maybe George and Paul weren't the best example, how about Tommy and Gina? Tommy and Gina, they both working hard, they got jobs that are very taxing and and so they get home from their jobs and they're married to each other. Neither of them have
Speaker 3: had especially good days. Both kind of had it rough. And so neither of them are very sympathetic towards the other to hear about and empathize or sympathize with them about how rough their day has been. And so as they're sitting there over dinner, they you know, they exchange obligatory expressions of concern for the other. Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. It's OK, babe. It's no big deal. And then they they delve into this conversation, which is essentially a competition of who has had it worse than the other. You've ever heard of one upmanship that you hate me in a in a conversation with someone that has to one up you on everything? Well, you know, I did this all. Yeah, I did this. And you're like, OK, you're sorry.
Speaker 2: You you win at life. Here's your prize. I don't know. You know, competition is an inherent product of sin. Competition. So what I like competition. If there's some competition that's not healthy.
Speaker 3: Competition is born out of this this idea of of I'm better than you and I'm going to prove it to you, it's pride. And if we're not careful, sometimes our conversations can be a verbal competition with who has it worse or who has it better. Tommy and Gina,
Speaker 2: they're sitting at the table and
Speaker 3: their conversation is littered with statements of belittlement, both of them end up feeling unvalued by their spouse. And rather than that person that they're supposed to be able to lean on providing support and encouragement and being the ear that will listen to them, instead, they find someone who's seemingly in competition with them. The conversation that started off.
Speaker 2: Fine and innocent and normal all of a sudden becomes corrupt. Husband and wife are at odds with each other because of their communication. One more thing, one more scenario for you to think about. Laverne and Shirley meet at. I mean, at the park for a play date. I told you, I picked these names out of nowhere, I don't know, guess.
Speaker 3: There at the park, the kids are playing, they start talking about
Speaker 2: the new family in the neighborhood.
Speaker 3: And then I think about, you know, they seem nice, they seem normal, you know how it is
Speaker 2: a new family moves in, everybody's scoping them out, like, what is it going to be like? They're going to have two o'clock parties and the police won't be showing up. They got a bunch of kids that were running rampant around the neighborhood. Do we need to put up a fence? I mean, what's this going to do to the dynamics in the neighborhood? And so Laverne and Shirley, they're trying to be nice. So they're trying to think about
Speaker 3: how they can help the new the new move ins get acclimated to the neighborhood. And this this conversation makes them think about another family that had
Speaker 2: moved in recently, the Joneses. Nobody likes the Joneses. Nobody can keep up with the Joneses. They think they're better than everyone else.
Speaker 3: So before you know it, Shirley and Laverne, they're they're a deep conversation that really is nothing more than Jones bashing session where they're building on the hearsay and the gossip that is going around concerning this other family. And what had started off was just a normal innocent conversation has turned into an unhealthy gossip session that is tearing down another family that they really don't even know that well. And it's gone from something that could have been a positive to this now rotten and corrupt.
Speaker 2: Are you with me so far as kind of making some sense, OK? Doesn't that make total sense? But it makes somewhat sense. I think we're good. I believe these conversations are great examples of corrupt communication,
Speaker 3: corrupt communication may not start off as worthless as the conversation goes on, it starts to rot like a piece of fruit. If I left this apple up here on the pulpit for the next couple of days, that piece where I took a bite out of it, what would happen? It would rot if I showed this to you on Sunday morning, it'd probably be all brown, the skin would not be crisp and sharp like it is now withered and wilted and soft and saggy. And it wouldn't be very appealing at all. I mean, like right now, I would have no problem taking another bite out of this apple, but come Sunday, I don't want to eat another bite out of this apple, would you know?
Speaker 2: You bit out of it. That's gross. OK, well, yes, that's true.
Speaker 3: But the conversation does the same thing and digresses to the point where it is no longer good for anything, and what Paul is saying is that we have to avoid these rotten conversations and instead pretend my second point there. Instead, we need to be engaged in conversation that, according to the verse, is edifying in Russian for twenty twenty nine. The opposite of corrupt communication is communication, that which is good to the use of edified. Paul says that there is a style of speaking that is good for the Christian to engage in these good conversations are the goal of our speech. As Christians, we should strive to speak in a way that this word good, which means beneficial and constructive to other people. Are speaking out words that we have that come out of our mouth should be things, statements, conversations that are beneficial and constructive to others. That word constructive is the definition of the word edify. When our words edify, we are engaged in the act of improving someone else. You notice that life's pretty good at tearing us down. Right, just the. The day to day,
Speaker 2: the the the normal,
Speaker 3: the climactic I mean, all of it is really good at discouraging and depressing all on its own. We really don't need other people adding to the burdens of life. And what Paul is saying is we need to be engaged and that which is good to the use of a fine or building up other people. What we want is to speak in a way that what we say is beneficial to the goal of helping other people to improve.
Speaker 2: If you just want us all to be know it all and tell everybody what to do, no.
Speaker 3: Now, most of the time, especially Christians are dwarfed by the Holy Spirit. They already know what to do. They just need someone that will be an encouragement to them. It's interesting that word good has to do with the specifics of the situation. There are certain things that would be the right thing to say at the wrong time, right, the right thing, but at the wrong time, and we want to avoid that, especially in close relationships with people that we know and love. But rather than making a situation worse, our words should make a situation better. Now. You say, OK, well, that's great, but how do we do this? I mean, edifying sounds good, but why why should we why should we be concerned with edify? I mean, isn't it true that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will what?
Unidentified: Never hurt. Well.
Speaker 2: Universe number twenty nine. Look at that, says they're. He says. Good to the use of firing that it may Minister Grace under the hearer's. You see, when we build people up with our words as opposed to tearing them down, we minister grace to those that hear us. How many times? My words to my children in
Speaker 3: correction minister, Grace to them. How many times does my tone and the way I say things to my
Speaker 2: children
Speaker 3: build them up
Speaker 2: as opposed to tearing them down? We ever said these words,
Speaker 3: you need someone to teach you a lesson. What is that? You might as well say you need someone to knock you down a few notches. You need someone to tear you down a little bit. You see, if we're going to minister Grace through our speech. You realize grace means it has to be undeserved. If we're going to minister to others through our words
Speaker 2: and it's going to be graceful,
Speaker 3: by definition, it has to be unmerited. Have we all been shown, Grace?
Speaker 2: So shouldn't we all show it to others as well?
Speaker 3: So you and I are going to be faced with corrupt speech. But if we're going to, as a Christian, respond with speech that is edifying and grace filled. Then we're going to have to learn to face corrupt communication and not join in. We're going to have to learn how to. Take the corruption in the words of those around us, and instead of joining in to tear somebody down or jump in with somebody downward spiritual spiral as they talk about things they shouldn't be talking about, instead, we're going to respond by building them up and edifying them in grace. And we're going to talk more about that in just a moment. But it is possible for a conversation that starts off not just totally fine for it to divulge into corruption, but when a Christian is involved, when someone who claims to know Christ, someone who claims to love Christ and therefore love those who are made in the image of God, well, then it should be that even if a conversation starts and corruption, that it can be moved to edification based on your influence as a believer. The guys at work, we're talking about things you shouldn't talk about, you don't join in and go down the dove with them into corruption, you do what you can testify. Sometimes you're not going to be able to do it. And you leave the conversation, but don't join in. They're already heading downhill, don't don't pull the brakes off and say. You get home from work and your wife's, you know, she's been having a rough day, too, she's been expended of her energy and patience and all that other stuff, and you're coming home thinking that, hey, you know what? I need someone to empathize with me. And you realize really quickly that she's had a hard day, too. And so you both start belittling the other and not giving to the other what they need. And so you get mad at her. She gets mad at you and you get mad at her and she gets mad at you. And there's just this downward spiral and your words tear one another down. Somebody needs to be not just adult enough, but Christian enough to say, you know what? You may not deserve this right now, but I'm going to respond with Grace. I'm quite certain that Alicia has had to respond
Speaker 2: to me and Grace when I didn't deserve it. I've definitely done it for no, I'm just getting. It didn't seem to be paying attention, so I thought I could get that one out. Turned over, she was looking at me, I was like. You're with a friend,
Speaker 3: they want to talk bad about somebody else, don't join in with them. Use your words to edify, sometimes we're even identifying the person that's not in the conversation.
Speaker 2: But I'm going to go that that third slide there. Take your Bibles, turn over that that verse and Colossians. Colossians chapter for. I really feel like these verses go together. Paul says, just as a reminder, let your speech be all way with grace, seasoned with salt, you may know how you ought to answer every man. Paul writes about grace in communication in the letter to the church at Colossi as well. He says, listen, when you're talking, when you're communicating with
Speaker 3: somebody else, it must always be with grace. Grace in practice, Grace in communication in the real world looks something like this, somebody comes at you and they're heated. You don't respond with heat. You respond with coolness. I mean, I wish I could
Speaker 2: have gotten this earlier in my ministry. There were several occasions,
Speaker 3: just fresh, fresh, fresh out of Bible college.
Speaker 2: There was a part time staff member that I just I didn't hit it off well with, and there were some calls that were made early in the morning, curse words coming my direction. And of course, now I know I would respond differently, but I hope I would respond differently.
Speaker 3: But at the time, I matched fire with fire. Well, you know what happens when you put fire and fire together, right, you get a bigger fire. Didn't it didn't work out well, that relationship that we talked about earlier, it was a short one. But it's one I'm still embarrassed about. It's one that was not salvaged.
Speaker 2: Why, in large part because of our communication. Fire comes at you don't match it with fire.
Speaker 3: And you're facing a conversation that is filled with negativity. You don't join in with the negativity, you introduce some positivity into it. So they don't deserve that. I know it's Grace. You're talking to somebody and they're going through a difficult time. We see all throughout the book of songs where David had doubts about God's goodness, God's love, there were times where he doubted God's plan. And so you are going to face someone that is going through a difficulty and they are doubting God. It's OK to acknowledge the hurt that they're feeling, but don't say, you know, I'm kind of wondering if God knows what he's doing to. You introduce faith into that situation. Faith is what's going to edify that brother or sister that's struggling, not more doubt.
Speaker 2: Grace in communication means that when you're presented with lies, you respond with truth. Must always be with grace, he says also in verse number six, that their conversation needs to be seasoned with salt.
Speaker 3: What did we just talk about in in Ephesians, but this idea of corruption, rottenness that can eat away and destroy a conversation until it is worthless. Wouldn't you know it, but salt is an anti-corruption agent. You put salt onto certain foods and it preserves it. He says, let your speech be seasoned with salt. That salt prevents the rottenness and worthlessness that Paul warned the Ephesians about. But then Paul goes on in verse number six and he adds to add to this whole idea when he tells the Colossians that they should know how to answer every man. Hinted at this back in Ephesians. Remember, he said that, which is good, we need to know how to say that, which is good in a situation. You can call it spiritual situational awareness, you know, some of our men, when I go to lunch with them, I know that there are certain seats that they're going to want so they can keep an eye on what's going on in the restaurant. That's fine. They're probably better equipped
Speaker 2: to handle anything that's
Speaker 3: going on behind me than I am. So I trust those guys. But they want some situational awareness of what's happening, some of us need to develop some spiritual situational awareness where we can discern and be sensible, are sensitive to what's going on in other people's lives. You could call it reading the spiritual room.
Speaker 2: When I was a youth pastor in Virginia, this is just confession that I
Speaker 3: guess I was doing a lesson on it. So I'm twenty three. She.
Speaker 2: And I was a teacher devotion for the teachers there at the school, and I was just it's in it's in the Bible, OK? It's part of it.
Speaker 3: But I was dealing with the issue of the the sheep's poop. I talked about it, I talked about it too long. So afterwards, my pastor got up, came and talked to me and he said, you know. That would have been vying for a men's breakfast. That will be fine for a bunch of teenage boys. But you need to read the room. It was a bunch of ladies, they probably don't want to hear about sheep poo.
Unidentified: I was like, you know what, you're right.
Speaker 2: When I went through my son's twenty three lesson for those of you that were here when we did that, did I talk about the sheep? No, I did not. So while you're talking about it now, it's just an illustration. Situational awareness, reading the room, emotional intelligence.
Speaker 3: Important thing is that this this skill, this this thing that should be developed within us is not a psychological invention. God is directing his people in verse number six of Colossians for two to respond to to learn to use their words in a way that ministers grace to others based on their situation. There are things you say in the moment that you that are appropriate for the moment, there are things that you say three months later that you don't say right in the moment. Dads were not great at this. You ever take your kids to Six Flags
Speaker 2: or Frontier City or whatever the case may be,
Speaker 3: you're riding roller coasters, you tell your son, don't eat that, we're going on the roller coaster. I'll be fine. He eats it, you go on the rollercoaster and he gets sick as he's getting sick, you say I told you not to eat that. Not the right time. Realize that learning how to speak to someone in an appropriate way based on their situation is a Christlike thing to do. It's Christlike, meaning that that's what Jesus did and does. How many times have you been reading your Bible and something that you're going have to go through in your life? It's like the Bible just speaks right to that right then in that moment. Why? Because God knows how to minister Grace to the hearer, that is good for the use of edifying, he knows what you need and when you need to hear it. And what he's saying through Paul is that you and I need to learn to some degree how to do this as well. Here are song. And that song speaks to you. I'm talking to Miss Terry Short, she was going through that time where she was separated from brother Jimmy as he was there in the hospital. She told me that there were several songs that people would send to her that spoke to her in that moment. I believe God used specific people to sing those to her things that were edifying and that were good for that time.
Speaker 2: Hopefully, there are messages that are preached
Speaker 3: that precisely fit with what you're facing right at that moment that teenagers say my parents told you was going on, didn't they? You knew I was in trouble, didn't you? No, I didn't. Honestly, no, I didn't. Hopefully there are messages that speak to you that way. But if you will seek to minister Grace through your words, if you will seek as verse number six as to know how you ought to answer every man. And I believe God can use you
Speaker 2: as his instrument of grace. You see, God has spoken Grace,
Speaker 3: God has spoken to us with grace. Therefore, it is only natural that we would speak to others
Speaker 2: with Grace as well. But, Tim, can you put up that last slide, here's what I want you to think about tonight.
Speaker 3: I have no doubt that the crowd that's here knows how to speak grace to people, but I think the thing that you and I need to be challenged on tonight is. When do you struggle the most to speak with grace, because there are probably some people that when you're around them, you have no problem speaking to them with grace. But there may be other people. With whom we may find ourselves struggling to exhibit Grace in our words.
Speaker 2: You know, I would say those are the people who. We need to show the most grace to. Remember, Grace must be undeserved to be grace. Remember the sorry state that we were in when God showed us grace?
Speaker 3: You see, these passages do not give us any room to pick and choose who we extend or withhold grace to when it comes to our communication. Back in a in Ephesians, what did it say? It said let some corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth.
Speaker 2: Now, it said, let
Speaker 3: no
Speaker 2: corrupt communication. No means no means no means no means no. There's no room for anything else, you look at version number six of Colossians four,
Speaker 3: let your speech be occasionally with grace. No. All way
Speaker 2: with grace. That you may know how you are to answer most men. Or that she may know how to answer every man. See, regardless of where you struggle the most, who you struggle with the most. We all need God's grace to win the victory over the words that we said. So this evening, we challenge you to show grace to others in order for you to show grace to others, you need to first have received grace from God. You're not a believer tonight, you've never had the Holy Spirit in dwell, you've never had your sins forgiven. You'll never be able to show people grace in your communication on your own. Even for those that are Christians tonight, I think we would all, if we were honest, admit that there are
Speaker 3: certain people, certain groups of people that we struggle with the most
Speaker 2: to show grace when we speak to them. And tonight, we need to go to the Lord and say, God, I need your grace to be able to show this person or that person or this group of people grace when I speak to them. Lord, we thank you for this day. Thank you for the good attention of your people. And I ask you to help all of us, to be honest with ourselves about. The amount of grace that we show in our words or may we
Speaker 3: would your Holy Spirit identify in our hearts and minds the individuals or the groups of people that we struggle with the most to show grace
Speaker 2: to when we speak to them? Lord, maybe we be convicted tonight of the harshness or the corruption that comes out in our words.
Speaker 3: Maybe there's someone at work that tells jokes and
Speaker 2: talks about things we shouldn't talk about. And and we have a hard time speaking in a way that defies rather than in a corrupt manner. Maybe there's someone that we just don't get along with Lord. And so we are
Speaker 3: easily caught in the trap of speaking harshly to them, saying things that we know are hurtful.
Speaker 2: Oh, Lord, I pray that we would be more graceful in our our interaction with those people that can even be more difficult for us.
Speaker 3: Lord, I pray that this this message, this idea that you have given us, Lord, would influence and impact the relationships, the people here at our church,
Speaker 2: Lord, as they interact with each other, as they speak to
Speaker 3: one another, speak about other people. May our speech be all way with grace, maybe seasoned with salt to
Speaker 2: prevent that corruption from taking hold here in our church. Oh, Lord, we love you. And we thank you for all you do for us. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen. Thank you all for your good attention tonight, real quick before we go, really, Carol has the prayer
Speaker 3: sheets and if you did not receive one,
Speaker 2: I'll just slip your hand up. He'll make sure you get one of those. I've got a couple of updates that we'd like to share with you. Some things that didn't make it onto the prayer sheet, first brother Jared Holley had his MRI last week and got the results on Monday, and he is going to have to have surgery on his knee, but they're not sure when yet. So please pray for him. And of course, that pushes his recovery back farther out for brother Jared. I know he would appreciate any calls or visits or cards that you might send to him. He's there with his mom. And if you need an address, we can get that for you to pray for Brother Jared also as surely day message me and let me know that Brother John is scheduled for surgery on June 20 second. It's a high risk surgery, they said his femur, but this is what she said to me, his femur bone has to be replaced. It never did attach like it should have. I think it's been over a year now since he had his last surgery. And so that's why he has been wheelchair bound basically ever since. And so please pray for John immaturely and the surgery that he has coming up. Are there any other requests or updates that we need to be aware of tonight before we dismiss anybody in this section here? Anybody here
Unidentified: with Jerry? Mm hmm. And then.
Speaker 2: Yes, so her her testing, her sedation was last Thursday, they were able to clean her ears out very well, they were testor no additional hearing loss or praise the Lord for that and glad that everything went smoothly last Thursday for Evelyn, continue to pray for her health and the many challenges that she faces. Uh, yes, ma'am. Yes, Mrs. Flanary, as she travels on Friday, are you going far?
Speaker 3: Oh, that is far. Pray for her,
Speaker 2: go by yourself or. Really? All right, definitely pray for her. Do you need people to call you and keep you awake? Yes, sir, but really, Kenny. Mm hmm. Is it Cindy, Cindy, Kelly? OK. Pray for Cindy, Kelly is a good friend of bulkiness and she's been having seizures, as for us to pray for her and of course, we will do that. Anybody else in this section here? But here is Sharon. Mm. And what's her name again? Pray for Krista. This is where the Arnim Sharon's daughter in law, and she's had Lime's for a long time. All right. Years of progressed seizures. And so she's not doing well. Please pray for her and her. Can't talk. Definitely be praying for her that she would be able to get a handle on the doctors, be able to get a handle on this and treatment for her as she can see some improvement. As Jane, did you have your hand up? Two unspoken. Miss Debbie. Next Monday. Continue to pray for Miss Debbie Smith and her blood clots. She has another appointment next Monday. So pray that that. Goes well and hopefully some good news.
Unidentified: This man machine. Yeah. Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Mr. Hicks, huh, I was. Uh. Molly. Continue to pray for Mr Hicks as the father of a student fell as brain bleeds, facial fractures, just some signs of improvement, but still a long way to go pray for his wife as she takes care of the children without him and of course, worried about him. And just pray that God would continue to have his protection upon that family as they go through this very difficult time. Nobody else in this section here. Serbia. OK. The aname or. I pray for a good friend of Mike's. He's got a. Terminal medical condition, so please pray for him and and the family there and everybody affected by that. God would use that. Bring people to him. All right. Let's all stand will be dismissed with word of prayer. Thank you all so much for being here tonight. And we'll look forward to seeing you ladies, don't forget, on Saturday and then the rest of you on Sunday and hope that God gives you a great rest of your week, an opportunity to serve him as you go. Let's pray and then we'll be dismissed. Heavenly Father, we think for to say thank you for the time we've been able to spend together and fellowship and singing and around your word. I pray that you would watch over the people of this church as we leave now to go our separate ways may give us opportunity to serve you, Lord, wherever we may go, may we use our words to Minister Grace to those that are around us or I pray that should be with the requests that we've heard tonight for continuing health needs that members and loved ones have been dealing with for a long time. I pray that you would. Have your will be done in each situation that you will help those that are affected to learn to trust in you, to lean on you for their needs and whatever the outcome may be? And God, we ask that you would, uh, continue with the spiritual needs that we pray for and that are on this list just as much as the physical needs or those that are in need of salvation. And I just pray that you would use our church to be a church that brings these needs before you in prayer, Lord, that you would answer them and she would use them to bring people closer to you. I'll always love you. And we thank you for all you do for us and should be with us now as we leave for us in Jesus name, I pray. Amen. Thank you're dismissed.