Ephesians 5:25

Speaker 2: Take your Bibles if you have them and turn to the book of Ephesians Ephesians chapter number five. He's in chapter number five, and as you find your place there, if you wouldn't mind, join me in standing in honor of reading God's word. These are chapter five verse number twenty five, just going to read this one verse says Husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. The only father we thank you for this day. We asked, You would be with us now as we look into your word. I prayed. You gave me the words you have me to say, and you'd help the

Speaker 1: folks that are here to listen and apply it to hear their

Speaker 2: lives for its in Jesus name. I pray. Amen. Thank you. May be seated. All right. As I mentioned last Wednesday, last Wednesday was a nice, easy message about welcoming new members. Very exciting to bring in somebody new. Praise the Lord. We've already had two couples join our church this year

Speaker 1: and that is a great

Speaker 2: blessing and excited to have them as part of our ministry. But. Sometimes it's not all people joining the church. Sometimes churches go through periods where there are people leaving the church, and so we'll talk a little bit more about that in a second. But my title tonight is responding to member departure. How do we respond when someone does leave the Collinsville Baptist Tabernacle before we get into it? I want to share with you the top 11 reasons why people leave a church now. Unless you think I'm singling anybody out. I am not. I don't think this is something that needs to pertain to any one who has left our church. There was a time in my life several times actually where I have left a church before,

Speaker 1: and so

Speaker 2: I'm not trying to belittle anyone that has left our church or will leave our church. But here are the 11 reasons top 11 reasons why people leave a church. Number one, because they're angry at somebody. That's one of the reasons. And part of, you know, being with other sinners is that eventually someone's going to offend you. And so some people will leave a church because they're angry. Number two, because you don't like the worship style. That's a pretty common thing in today's society. So that's number two or three because your ministry passion is no longer supported. Perhaps you were really into the food bank and your church or the clothes closet, and they got rid of it. And you just said, You know what? I can't go to church here anymore. Number four, because you don't like the pastor. Surprise, it's only made its number four because the percentage of people who leave a church because of the pastor, something he did or his family is actually really high,

Speaker 1: so that's encouraging. I'm glad for that

Speaker 2: number five because they ask for money. Yes, some churches do overemphasized. But every church should be teaching financial stewardship, right? And part of the biblical financial stewardship is that you would give back to the Lord. Number six, because you don't like the preaching. See, I told you I was going to come back to the pastor. You know, if the pastor is preaching the gospel, the gospel has always been offensive. And so perhaps going to a church where the message doesn't make you uncomfortable, you might not be at the right church next. Because the congregation's getting too big. Well, we just liked it when it was smaller and we just had that more intimate family feel now that it's getting bigger. We just don't like it as much, regardless of the size of the church. You'll still develop genuine relationships with only a few people. In fact, the maximum amount of people that you will most likely have a relationship with at your church is 17. And that's if you're super outgoing, an extrovert that just thrives off of social interaction. 70 is about the max that you will be able to have a relationship with. So growth doesn't automatically hinder fellowship next because there's sin in your life. This is one that people most often will not admit to. But unfortunately, this is when most people are not. Most a lot of people do make a change in their church. Attendance is when they're dealing with some kind of sin and it makes them do things that they would not normally have done next because the church is changing. I know church stays the same forever. What matters is their their faithfulness to God, and his word should not change. But I mean, colors of the church change the colors you change, the hymnals change the staff changes. But a lot of people, you know, thrive on change. There are a few that just don't like change all that much. That was sarcasm. Nobody likes change. Here's one. I didn't think this is real, but I actually just heard it two weeks ago because no one's ever asked you to serve because no one's ever asked you to serve. That doesn't always mean they don't want you to serve. It might just be that they don't know you're looking for a place to serve. And so if you do want to serve, don't wait. Ask somebody about the opportunities that are available. And then finally, here's the one that just I absolutely love. We've prayed about it,

Speaker 3: and

Speaker 2: we just feel like God wants us to leave.

Speaker 1: This one's hard to swallow.

Speaker 2: Somebody tells me we prayed about it. We feel like this is what God wants us to do. And if they say they've prayed about it, you can't argue with them. You can't say, Well, why does God want you to leave? Because it doesn't matter. They just they prayed about it. That is it. Now the church, I believe, and I believe you believe the church is very special to God. The Collinsville Baptist Tabernacle is very special to God. When we read Ephesians five twenty five, I read that because I wanted us to see that part where it says that Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. And that is talking about our congregation here in Collinsville, Oklahoma, when Jesus died on the cross in Jerusalem, Israel, two thousand years ago. He was thinking about us meeting here in twenty twenty two. We are special to him. He gave himself for us and nothing pleases God more than when his children live together in harmony. Psalm, one thirty three one says, Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in what unity be great. We never had a fight, never had a quarrel, never had contention or just awkwardness between us and another Christian, wouldn't it? Someday, that'll happen. A conflict has been a part of church life from the very beginning, and it will be part of church life until Jesus comes back and redeems us from our sinful natures. And so what I want to do tonight is is take a little bit of an automatic look at some things that we need to understand about people leaving our separating from a church and then how we are supposed to respond to that. Now, the first thing I'd like for us to do is turn to acts chapter number 15 Acts Chapter Number 15, beginning in verse number thirty six. I'm not going to preach it because we already looked at this passage on Sunday mornings in our study of acts. But I do want to read these verses to you x fifteen, thirty six to forty one. The Bible says. And some days after Paul said in the Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord and see how they do. Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from paraphilia and went out with them to the work. The contention was so sharp between them that they departed asunder one from the other, and so Barnabas took mark and sailed on to Cyprus. And Paul chose Silas and departed, being recommended by the brethren under the grace of God. And he went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches. Paul and Barnabas here in this passage have a very sharp disagreement with each other. Barnabas wanted to show Grace to John Mark undeserved favor to allow him back onto the missionary team, whereas Paul wanted to be done with John Mark. After John Mark had previously abandoned the ministry, and so as I read this account or as I read this account, I see a problem contention coming up between a person that is more of a hard liner and the other person who is more of a grace giver. Differing ministry philosophies are seen here in Chapter 15, and so these ministry philosophies were so different and so at odds with each other that it was better for these two men to just separate and go their different ways. And as we talked about on Sunday morning, both of these men went on to be greatly used by God in their future ministries. And so we can see from Paul and Barnabas his example that ministry separation does not have to mean an end of usefulness for either party. They separated. They didn't continue on together. Now I'm not saying Paul and Barnabas were at church, but they were brothers that were working together in ministry to start. Churches and they separated, but neither of them became just a castaway. Both of them continue to be blessed and used by the Lord. And so it doesn't mean in end of usefulness. It also doesn't mean that either person needs to be torn down by the other Halden turn around and start bashing Barnabas. Barnabas didn't go on and start bashing Paul because they had separated. I even was thinking about verses 36 to 40. Just the careful way that Luke relays the events of this episode, it's almost impossible to determine Luke's feelings about this situation, because all he does is give us the facts. Luke doesn't say Paul was right or Barnabas was right. He doesn't really give us any indication how he feels about this. He just tells us it happened. So even Paul, who wrote prolifically prolifically, yeah, after these events, never mentions this event in an effort to put down Barnabas. Most of Paul's writings are still in the future when this event takes place. You would think that Paul would take this opportunity to, maybe, I don't know, vindicate himself, justify his actions, give his side of the story, but he doesn't do any of that. And in the end, we know that Paul does come around on John Mark. And in fact, on multiple occasions, Paul actually recommends John Mark to the ministry. So Paul and Barnabas, I believe, show that it is possible for Christian brothers and sisters to separate in a peaceable, respectful manner and for both of them to go on and be used by God that acceptable to everyone tonight. OK. Now for our church, we have been blessed over the last four years with very few departures. I mean, if you just talk about the few that have left, we could probably put them on on one hand, maybe two, but it's been very minimal. But we have had some people leave. And the fact of the matter is we will have more people leave as the years go on. Do I wish that we could keep every person, every visitor that walks through those doors? Yes, absolutely. I wish everyone felt just absolutely at home and fulfilled and felt like they were learning and growing in their spiritual life. I wish that everyone that walked in the doors just got everything they could out of the message. They loved the singing. They love the children's ministry. The youth group was the greatest thing they'd ever seen. But that's just not going to be the case. You see, our church cannot be what every visitor or every member thinks it should be. How many of you have been a member of a of a another church besides this one before you came here? Anybody else being a member of Holy Moly, man? See, that's that's that's a lot of people. That's a lot of people with differing backgrounds, different experiences. I would bet that all those churches that you used to be a member of probably did a lot of things you liked or you wouldn't have been a member there. There was also probably some things you didn't like. It's a lot of different perspectives. It's a lot of different expectations to try and live up to. Our church will never live up to everyone's expectations 100 percent. I'm the pastor of the church, if I can just say this. Our church isn't even everything I want it to be. You know, people come to me and say, there's just some things that we don't like about this church. Call me to join the club. You think you're some kind of rebel because you have the guts to come? Say, there are some things I don't like about this church. Yeah, same. We have to be careful with this matter of leaving the church, though. Too many times people want to weaponize their membership in order to get their way. If you don't do what I am saying, then I'll just leave. I want to be sensitive to why people leave if they do leave. You know, it said there's usually a grain of truth in every criticism. Right? There's usually something we can learn when somebody comes and says, I got this issue. I've got this problem with you personally. Well, because who do you think you are? The walls go up and we get defensive. I don't know if any of you feel this way, but I've had this happen a couple of times where people say, Look, pastor, it's nothing personal. I'm sorry. But this church is way too important to me or you to talk bad about my church and me not to take it personally. You cannot separate this church from from me. And I hope that there's a lot of you that feel that way, too. We want to be sensitive, we want to determine if there are adjustments that should have been made. There are certainly blind spots. I'm not omniscient. Omnipresent. I don't know all see all that takes place. So yeah, there are definitely going to be blind spots and things that we've overlooked that we need to give attention to and work to address. But to what extent do we accommodate the expectations of people in order to retain their membership? How far do we go? Somebody says, I think I think we need to serve more fried food on Wednesday night if you don't serve more fried food. I'm going to move my membership. Well, I mean, I guess we could serve a meal with fried food. Sure, that's I mean, I guess it's 'cause we could we could do that. But what do you say? No, but we're not going to serve fried food every time there's other people who like other things. Somebody says, well, you know, I wish I wish you would sing more songs by this artist or this songwriter. OK, we'll consider that there are other artists and other songwriters that other people like. How far are we going to go? Somebody says, I don't think the pastor should wear anything except a white shirt. That wouldn't actually be that bad for me, because I really don't like trying to match the other colors of shirts

Speaker 1: and so the white shirts just easier sometimes.

Speaker 2: Why does I think the the teenager the youth group needs to needs to change, I mean, I think they need to spend more time, you know, entertaining the teenagers. Well, that's not really why we're here. So why didn't you need to be more open to other Bible versions being taught in the classrooms and from the pulpit? Sorry, but that's that goes against our our constitution and our beliefs. Well, then I'm going to move my membership. That's supposed to be a threat, weaponizing your membership in order to get your way. Should the leaders of the church abandon what they believe to be right in order to assuage the complaints of a few members? Listen, I will fight harder than anybody else to prevent people from leaving. Well, if someone will give me the opportunity, I'll try my best to talk them out of leaving. I don't ever want people to think that they can slip out the back door and no one will care or notice. But I also realized that we can't please everybody. Oh, I don't want this to be a sermon on why you should stay at CVT. Let me give you a couple of reasons why you should stay at CVT. Number one, I believe the Baptist Tabernacle is the best church for someone to be at in this whole area. And I counted there are four other independent Baptist churches within like ten minutes a year. That's that's crazy talk. OK. For other independent Baptist churches, God bless them, you know, but still, I'm like, is there another pastor in the country that has to deal with that many other independent Baptist churches right in their backyard? And I could walk to another independent Baptist church. But I believe we're the best. I believe we have a unique ministry philosophy that that can help people believe that we are striving to be biblical in our approach to the church. I believe God is blessing us and doing things that any Christian should want to be a part of. I mean, I just look at the things that God has done, and I wouldn't want to leave here, miss out on what God's been doing, that the Baptist Tabernacle. So it just it really doesn't make sense to me why anybody would think about leaving the Baptist Tabernacle. And you're sitting there thinking people are leaving is leaving. It's not my original message. As far as I know, there's nobody leaving right this moment. But the point of the message tonight is this when we do have people leave, how do we, as the members who stay, respond to members that depart? Because that can be kind of awkward when you stay and others have left? I was talking to one of our men this afternoon and he was talking about how somebody had left the church and they'd run into each other on a regular basis. And, you know, they'd do the general pleasantries. And I'm sure many of you are familiar with our kids are the wife, housework, blah blah blah. But it always come back to you. So you're still at the church. So you're still at the church, this is having multiple multiple times, you still going to that church. So, you know, this is something that we have to deal with. The first thing that we need to remember when we think about having the right response to someone who has left our church, we need to remember that members who leave may have left our church body, but they have not left God's family. Just because somebody leaves or withdraws their membership from the Baptist Tabernacle, it does not mean that they cease to be our brother or sister in Christ. Throughout his letters, Paul refers to many people that were not members of the same church as brothers not going to read all these verses. But he calls Timothy a brother and cautions one one Cordis, a brother in Romans 16. Twenty three sostiene is a brother in First Corinthians. One one Apollos a brother. First Corinthians 16 12. Titus, a brother in Second Corinthians two 13. Teach a course in obedience. Six twenty one a paradise. Philippians two twenty five on estimates and Colossians for nine. And there were more. I just got tired of writing them all down. None of these are hardly any of these men were actually members of the same church. But Paul calls them a brother. C, a fellow believer doesn't have to go to the same churches you in order to be considered and treated as a brother or sister in the family of God. And so that means we can still treat a departed member with love and grace when we think about love in the Bible. We almost immediately think, think of the great love chapter in First Corinthians 13, right? First, going to being 13 is like the the international Valentine's Day sermon. First Corinthians 13 and we talk about First Corinthians 13 and apply it a lot of times to the context of spousal love, how I'm supposed to love my spouse. But that is not the context of First Corinthians Chapter 13. First Corinthians Chapter 13 is meant to be understood as applying to the relationships that exist between believers. And so when I read First Corinthians 13, it's not Valentine's Day card material that I'm supposed to write to my wife. It's more like every day material that I'm supposed to feel towards brother Angelo.

Speaker 1: How do you do it? I don't have girls, I know you.

Speaker 2: I mean, this is what we're supposed to feel towards each other, even if a person has departed fellowship from our church, we should still treat them with patients.

Unidentified: Patient. It's kind.

Speaker 2: It thinks the best of others, it bears and endures all things it hopes the best for them. That's a kicker. You know, somebody leaves. Says you're supposed to hope for the best for them. You don't wish ill on somebody else. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think it is. But this can be a very difficult command to follow because there are certainly some people who are easy to love. There are some people that are difficult to love. And when someone leaves, the church usually isn't because they just love everything that's going on. You know, it's not usually because, you know, they're just so happy with the way the church is going. We just it was just too much. We were just too happy, so we had to leave. It's usually because they're unhappy, they're dissatisfied. Things aren't going the way they want, and so they say, well, we're going to find somewhere else. Member departures are usually painful. I know they certainly are for me. But that's OK. It would be weird. There would be something wrong if someone could leave our church and we didn't feel pain at there. Leaving. Talked last week about how the church is a body. Talk about bringing in new members, assimilating them into the body, helping them to find their place of service where they can contribute to the good of the body. When a person leaves, what does that mean for the body illustration? It's like a body part has been removed, amputated. It's a body part cannot be removed without pain. No member is expendable. Right. No member is expendable, there's nobody that can leave that were like that. Well. This pain is true, whether you're talking about the church body or your physical body. It hurts when someone leaves. It's hard to show them love when you see them again to treat them as a brother or a sister. You don't want to, you feel like they haven't deserved it. You feel like they deserve for you to be rude to them, which is why we don't just need love. We need. That thing that helps with undeserved favor. Grace. Grace is another important trait in how we respond to departed members. Grace is amazing. I didn't mean to put that like that, but amazing grace. Because when Grace is included as an ingredient to our character, it doesn't matter if we think someone deserves favor or not. It doesn't matter if we think they've earned our favor or not. Whether you agree or disagree with someone's decision to leave. Or maybe you disagree with how they left. You should still show them, Grace. Paul doesn't give any stipulations when he says in clauses four six. Let your speech be all the way with what grace? Grace should characterize our interactions with all people, but especially those that are a part of the family of God. Even if they have left the church that you are a tinder of our member of. Practically speaking to myself and all of us, we should be sure to leave the door open for former members to return and once again become members of the church again. That's only going to happen if we treat them with love and grace. This is my goal. I'm not saying it's what I do, but it is my goal in every situation. Now. What about someone that leaves? But doesn't really leave. One thing that those of you who are longtime residents of this part of the country know better than I would, though I am learning, is that just because someone leaves the church? That doesn't mean that the interaction between them and the church ceases. So they're still coming to services after they left the church. That's weird. I'm talking about that. Remember, the church is the people. And so it's possible for someone to remove their membership but continue to interact with the members of that church. I mean, a whole lot of people moving out of Oklahoma. It was very much trying to get to Oklahoma people that are here like, Hey, man, I'm state my roots run deep here. Why would I pick up and go? So it's very possible. Actually, it's likely that someone leaves the church. You're still going to see that person. Right. I mean, my the only one that runs into former church members. I was pretty not overwhelmed.

Speaker 1: I don't know pressed isn't the word, either.

Speaker 2: I'm just surprised. I first moved to Collinsville. I'd go out in the community and people start talking to them and I'd say pastor of the Baptist Tabernacle. They'd say, I rode the bus to the Baptist Tabernacle. Oh, which one is it? The Baptist Tabernacle that was in the youth group at the Baptist Tabernacle? I used to go to the Baptist Tabernacle, start thinking Good night writing towns, being a part of the Baptist Tabernacle at one point or another. You're still going to see former members, and that can be fine. And like we just talked about, we should continue to treat them with love and grace. If you see a former church member coming down the aisle opposite of you at risers or whatever, you shouldn't have the feeling of Oh. I mean, shouldn't have to go to church here for me to be your friend. Right? I'm grateful I got a couple. I was going to say a lot. I don't have a lot, but I mean, I guess I was home schooled, so compared to what I used to have. Maybe in comparison, I have a lot of friends, but I've got a couple of friends in the area who don't go to church here, and I'm so glad that we can still fellowship. They're Christians. I can still treat them as a brother. I don't have to feel like, Hey, because you don't go to my church, you know, there's there's an issue between you and me. But what happens if A. Former member. Wants to continue a relationship with a current member only they own only they only accept. All they ever want to talk about is speaking ill of the church that you're still a member of. Is it healthy for you as a current church member to spend a lot of time around a foreign former church member who only wants to engage in murmuring and complaining, disputing about the church that you are still trying to go to and serve the Lord at? Is it healthy to allow that to happen or to engage with that kind of conversation?

Unidentified: What do you think?

Speaker 2: I don't think it's healthy. What does God think about it? Well, we know that the Holy Spirit directed Paul to write in Philippians two 14 that we are to do all things without murmurings and disputing. Murmuring is an easy word to understand. I've said this before, but I really just like saying it, murmuring is an onomatopoeia. It sounds like. What it is. It means complaining and usually complaining, especially if you're complaining about a person you don't do it to their face, you do it behind your back. You do it in secret. You do it in hushed tones so that it sounds like

Speaker 3: ma ma ma ma ma ma ma murmur

Speaker 2: the word barbarian is the same way. The barbarous people, the Romans thought they sounded like whenever they spoke that it was bah bah bah bah bah bah bah. So they call them barbarians until you're extremely blessed by this, but murmuring you probably are pretty familiar with that word disputing, though. I don't know if we have the right picture in our heads when we say the word disputing. It does mean a debate. Well, yeah, that's what I was thinking. I mean, the debate. See, I'm ahead of you past void, but it's a special kind of debate. It's a debate that causes constant friction. It's like when your kids are stuck in one of those, ha, ah ah ah, that's disputing it's constant. It's it's going over the same ground over and over and over and over again. Even though you've already talked about it, you've already beaten the horse to death and you're going to beat it some more. That's a disputing. I'll give you a great descriptor of what this looks like. Hmm. OK. You're not going to see this very well. Forgive me, I haven't shaved my legs in like thirty four years. You can't see it very good, but there's a scar right there on my knee and Mica, my least favorite brother.

Speaker 1: That's not true. I love Mica.

Speaker 2: Michael was always picking at me. And so we were leaving our friends house one day, and Mica says, I'll race you to the car. Well, I'm the oldest brother. Of course I must win. So I race mica the car to the car. I'm wearing sandals because it's summer outside and there was a piece of concrete that was just a little bit higher than all the rest of the concrete. My sandals caught on to that I fell for and I skinned my knee. Pretty good. Of course, a scab formed. For the next several weeks, I kept picking at the scab. You've been there. You may also get in trouble for that. You know, it took that skinned knee forever to heal because I wouldn't leave it alone was so bad, kid told me, This is Mike is like, you know, you're never going to get married. There's no girl is going to want to look at that ugly scab or that ugly scar on your knee

Speaker 1: texted him and asked if he remembered saying that he said no, but it sounds like something I would have said.

Speaker 2: It was not long after that Micah was chasing some dalmatians in the neighborhood, and he dogs got excited and they knocked him over and he skinned his knee. Also the same spot, he had watched me mess up my skin. And so my kept a Band-Aid on it.

Speaker 1: He never

Speaker 2: messed with. Then don't you know that that's that cut healed a whole lot faster than mine healed? Don't you know, I still had a scab and his was all healed up? Don't you know, he thought that meant he was better than me because, you know, he healed faster than I did. Disputing is that constant friction of you pulling the scab off of a problem and revisiting it after you've done it 100 times? It's having the same conversations over and over and over, it's returning to a debate again and again and again when what you really need to do is just leave it alone, move on as you move, maybe your mom said you build a bridge and get over it. Murmuring and disputing complaining and revisiting the same complaints over and over and over and over again. You know, there are people right now tonight sitting at home watching whatever it is that comes on a Wednesday night. I wouldn't know. And then used to be sitting in churches just like this one at one time. They used to be a deal, wanted director at one time. Now they're sitting at home with a beer in their hand watching Wheel of Fortune. Why? Well, because somebody made a mad something didn't go their way. And so they murmured and they disputed and they went over

Speaker 1: and over and over and over. And this person that I'm

Speaker 2: thinking out left the church and didn't get involved with another church and just got out of church and doesn't go to church at all. That would never happen to me. I'm sure he thought it would never happen to him, either. Not every person that leaves the church is like this, but there are people who leave churches who do do this. Murmuring and disputing neither of these things are healthy, and we should neither engage in nor put up with people who come to us wanting to murmur or dispute. You know, if nobody would listen to their murmuring disputing they wouldn't murmur and dispute. The fact of the matter is, however, this is all that some people want to do. They are connected and gravitate towards people who will join with them or will permit them to engage in this kind of conversation, and some relationships are formed solely around a shared critical spirit. So talking to brother Clarence, you guys would be aware of where the Clarence before he was a youth pastor, he worked in camp ministry for many years, and as a youth pastor, I saw this with our kids. I asked him if he had seen a similar thing. He said, Yes, absolutely. But you know, you have all these churches, hundreds of kids show up. Some of them have never seen each other before. By the end of that first day, the murmurs and the dispute ers have found each other. The kids that collect Pokemon cards, they've found each other, the home schoolers. They found each other. Somehow they find the people that they're life. Murmurs and disputes are the same way. And so we should all ask ourselves if we really want to be associated with this kind of behavior and these types of conversations. And if I could remind us tonight, Proverbs six, 16 to 19 gives us a list about what God thinks about certain sins. And it says these six things that the Lord Hey, yeah. Seven are an abomination under him. A proud look. We understand that. A lying tongue. Yep, that sounds pretty bad. Hands that shed innocent blood. Oh yeah. Definitely not good heart. The device's wicked imaginations. Oh yeah. Shame on them, feet. That's me. Swift and running to mischief. Mm hmm. A false witness that speak of lies. OK, yes. He that sow discord among brethren. Here's something I never noticed before. It's not there. And you notice there's there's always discord among brethren among the brethren. I was right among the brethren. I think if I quoted it to you before reading it, I would have said among the brethren. But it's not what it says, says among brethren, you see, this isn't specific to a church context. It is much broader. There are people who simply want to make others dissatisfied with their life. Misery loves God hates that. I'm miserable, so you have to be miserable. I'm upset and mad. You have to be upset and mad. They want to stir up strife between you and the people you connect with. And there are so many reasons why this may be why they act this way, but it is usually because they are dissatisfied with their life and so they want you to be dissatisfied with your life as well. Do we want to wink at or be passive towards something that the Bible tells us God hates? The answer should be no. We could say this about current or former church members. All of us have to be on guard for murmurings and disputes because there are some people who will murmur and dispute and never leave the church for their entire life. Since we're talking about former members, let's just come right out and say it. Don't be. I don't provide a listening ear for former members to sow discord among brethren that you still go to church with. If you are a former member of this church or you're a former member of another church, then don't try to sow discord among the people who stayed. I mean, I was at Fairfax for six years during that time. We saw a lot of things we didn't agree with. Is it right for me to call up guys that I used to serve on staff with and complain about what happened to air out all of the dirty laundry of things that I knew that maybe they didn't know about? Is that right? No, they still have to get up every morning and go to that church to work. The people that I would tell them stories about, they're still trying to minister on and minister to and love on them. It's not right. We shouldn't entertain it, nor should we engage in it. So let's wrap this up quick conclusion. Praise the Lord for the people that come join with our ministry, there are also going to be people who are going to leave this ministry. People come and they go for a myriad of reasons. But if I was to have you make a list tonight, the five reasons why you joined this church, probably nobody in this room would have the same five reasons. What one person loves about the church. Someone else can't stand. You have to learn, like we talked about last week, how to welcome new members. We also have to learn how to respond when members depart. God's work is bigger than any one of us. This is the key. God's work here is bigger than you and me. This is his church, that departed member is his child. It's not your. Well, I mean, I guess it could be your child, but. Ultimately, it's his child. God's ability to use somebody to bless their lives is not exclusively tied to them being a member of the Baptist Tabernacle. So we must treat people that leave our church with the love and grace that we are expected to show to God's family, that does not mean that we should continually subject ourselves to the criticism and complaints of former members regarding our church. If that is something that you're being exposed to, then you need to grow a backbone and say no more. You left. That's your business. But I stayed and stayed for a reason. I love my church and I don't want to hear you talking bad about it. We can talk about something else, anything else. We're not talking about this. If we do allow that kind of murmuring and disputing to be a constant influence on us. And let's be honest, it probably won't be long before we become former members of the Baptist Tabernacle as well. They're part of God's family. We love them and show them grace. We can be friends with them too. But if all they want to do is complain about the church, complain about the hurt that may be legitimate and dispute, pick at it over and over and over again. That's not healthy and it will have a negative effect on you. You don't have a negative effect on the ministry. People leave, let's make sure we have the right response when that happens.

Speaker 1: Let's pray. Father, thank you for the day. Thank you for the good attention of your people. All I ask. I hope that this message was. Not misunderstood or misconstrued. I hope the folks who are watching online, we don't know who's watching the Lord that they would understand

Speaker 2: the heart and the intent behind this message is not to single out any particular situation or person just to prepare the the the folks that are in it for the long haul here at the Baptist Tabernacle, just to help them to grow in their ability to respond in a godly way. When folks do decide to leave and go and hopefully join another church, or I pray that

Speaker 1: you would help us as a church to continue to mature, that our ministry, we mature, we

Speaker 2: become more effective for you and should continue to add new members and

Speaker 1: new servants who would be able to help us to

Speaker 2: reach our community in the world with the gospel. Lord, we love you and thank you for all you do for us. It's in Jesus name.

Speaker 3: Amen.

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