💔 When Pride Turns Brothers Into Enemies

A Reflection on Judges 12:1–15

By Pastor Gary Boyd, Collinsville Baptist Tabernacle

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🔥 The Battle That Should Never Have Happened

Sometimes the loudest explosions don’t come from the enemy’s attack. They come from inside the camp.

That’s exactly what happened in Judges 12. Israel didn’t lose to the Ammonites. They lost to themselves. One tribe’s pride, another man’s defensiveness, and forty-two thousand brothers lay dead by the Jordan.

All because nobody could swallow their pride.

It’s a tragic story, but it’s also a mirror. Pride doesn’t just divide nations. It divides churches, families, and friendships.

😔 Pride Always Feels Justified Until It Isn’t

You may not be starting a war with anybody, but you’ve probably felt that same tension rise inside your heart.

Someone hurt you. Someone passed you over. Someone got the credit you think you deserved.

You smiled on the outside, but inside something started to harden. That’s how pride works. It’s quiet and subtle, building walls between you and the people God meant you to walk beside.

Judges 12 shows how pride poisons peace and how humility can heal what pride destroys. 💡

💬 1. Prideful Division Begins with Wounded Words (Judges 12:1–3)

The men of Ephraim were offended that Jephthah hadn’t invited them to battle.

They confronted him: “Why didn’t you call us?” and even threatened to burn down his house.

This wasn’t righteous anger. It was envy wearing a religious mask. They wanted credit for a victory they hadn’t helped win.

Jephthah calmly reminded them, “I did call, and you didn’t come. But the Lord delivered the enemy into my hand.”

✨ Pride resents where God receives glory.

When God uses someone else, pride whispers, “That should’ve been me.”

But humility says, “Thank God He’s working, however He chooses to do it.”

Try this 👇:

Next time you feel overlooked, pause and ask, “Is this my pride talking or gratitude?” Then do the opposite of what pride wants. Encourage someone else. It’s amazing how praising others softens your own heart. ❤️

⚔️ 2. Prideful Division Escalates When Humility Is Refused (Judges 12:4–6)

When words don’t bring humility, they often bring war.

Ephraim’s taunts provoked civil war with Gilead. Their insult, “You fugitives!” hit hard because pride always needs to feel superior.

Thousands died at a river crossing called Shibboleth. One small difference in speech became a reason to kill.

💣 Pride can turn family into foes when humility is absent.

Humility doesn’t wait for the other person to move first. It says, “Peace matters more than being right.”

Try this 👇:

If there’s tension with someone in your life, take the first step. Send a text. Make the call. Offer kindness instead of silence. That’s not weakness. That’s strength under control. 💪

🕊️ 3. Prideful Division Leaves Only Emptiness Behind (Judges 12:7–15)

After the fighting stops, the text falls quiet: “He judged… he died… he was buried.”

No miracles. No revival. Just repetition.

Even God’s name disappears after verse 3. Divine silence reflects human pride.

⚠️ Pride can win battles but loses God’s blessing.

The rest of the chapter reads like a slow fade. Activity without anointing. Leadership without life.

That’s what happens when pride rules. God steps back, and everything becomes hollow.

Try this 👇:

Take stock of your relationships and your heart. Has pride cost you peace, friendship, or joy?

Confess it. Then take one humble step toward reconciliation this week. Pride drains. Humility refills. 🌿

❤️ When God’s People Choose Humility

When God’s people start choosing humility over pride, everything changes.

The tension in the room eases.

Arguments cool off faster.

People start listening to understand instead of waiting to speak.

The person you’ve avoided becomes someone you can pray with again.

And as peace returns, God’s presence settles in. It’s quiet but unmistakable.

That’s what grace feels like when pride finally dies. 🙏

✝️ The Gospel for the Proud Heart

The greatest wall in your life isn’t between you and another person. It’s between you and God.

Sin built that wall, and pride keeps it standing.

But Jesus humbled Himself to tear that wall down.

He took our sin to the cross, died in our place, and rose again to offer peace with God.

If you’ll turn from pride and trust Him, not your own goodness but His finished work, He will forgive you, change you, and fill you with peace that pride could never give.

💭 One Last Word

Lay your pride down before it destroys what you love.

Be the first to step toward peace.

Have the conversation, write the note, make the call. Do whatever it takes to let God heal what pride has wounded.

When humility moves in, grace moves freely.

And when grace moves freely, unity and peace take the place of destruction. 🌅

Key Verse:

“God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” — James 4:6

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